This decision-making question makes all the difference

It happens on date nights every week around the world. You come home from work. You drop your things at the door, and your significant other asks, what do you want for dinner? The most common answer is, “I don’t know.”

I don’t know. I don’t care. You decide. Whatever you want. But what happens when they say, “Great. I’ve made reservations at that Mexican place on the corner.” -Wait, I don’t want Mexican food. “Well how about Italian.” -We had Italian last week. “Well, what do you want.” I don’t know. But you do.

You know you don’t want Italian. You know you don’t want to have what you just had. You know you don’t want to pick. I know too many people paralyzed because they’ve convinced themselves they don’t know what they want. It’s a lie. Even in your most confused state, you know everything you need to know to move forward.

There are moments of clarity. There are days when you see the thing, and you know you’ve got to have it. But most of life is different. Stress, confusion and the fatigue of too many options convinces us we don’t know what we want. We bounce like a pinball from thing to thing. We wander like a zombie extra from the walking dead. Or worst of all we do nothing, and sit on the ground and tell sad tales of our stuckness.

When it comes to navigating your life, if clarity escapes you, don’t ask yourself what you want. Ask what you don’t want.

-what don’t you want to put up with at work
-what kind of experience do you not want for your family
-what limitations do you not want to feel at the end of your

Large or small, if you shift focus from trying to hit a target to narrow the field of options with “I know I don’t want” questions you’re left with solid options. That all you need. Options, choices and “things to try” as the keys to success.

In the cold days of winter, it can be hard to stick with resolutions and aspirations because we lose sight of what we want. Ask what you don’t want and watch the clarity transform your decision making.